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The Pope, The Mullah and The Rebbe Get Down

 
Author: Karen Fish

It is incumbent upon every Muslim man and woman to once in their life make Hajj, pilgrimage to Islams holiest site, the Kaaba, a granite cubed building inside of the enormous Masjid al Haram outdoor Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Allah commanded that the Kaaba be built on Earth to reflect Gods House in Heaven. The Kaaba was built by Adam, while Eve was speaking to Satan.

This years Hajj just ended. Every year Muslims travel from every corner of the globe to make Hajj, pilgrimage to Mecca. Inside of the Kabba, Koranic scriptures are written on the walls. Chapter 56 of the Koran is called The Event Mecca. Koran Chapter 9 verses 29-30 command every Muslim to Make War on the Christians and the Jews. As reward for massacring the infidel Christian men, women, and children the Muslims get to go to Mecca in the sky, Heaven, outlined in Chapter 56 of the Koran, The Event- Mecca. In Sky Mecca, the faithful are rewarded for massacring Christian and Jewish children with 72 Virgins, crystal clear water, a lush beautiful sparkling clean environment, wine with no side effects, and high Google page rankings without the need for back links.

When the Muslim warriors flew the airplanes into the twin towers on 911 they fully expected to the core of their beings that the moment the planes hit the buildings, they would wake up in Sky Mecca with God, and their virgins, and their wine with no side effects. Who can argue with 1.3 billion people? You go tell them that theyre insane. Send Pope Rat Singer in his high heeled shoes and Phyllis Dillers ball gown and his ten gallon hat to tell them that in reality Jesus is about to fly down from Heaven on his flying horse and defeat the flying armies of Satan and Rapture every Christian man, woman and child into Heaven, saving them all from the nuclear blasts of the imminent Nuclear World War 3. Inside the Kabaa a bearded black hatted black coated Rabbi naughtily flicks the light switches on and off on the Muslim Sabbath, Friday.

The Alimentary Canal is the passage in the body through which food passes and in which it is digested, extending from the mouth through the esophagus, stomach and intestines until it is expelled as feces through the anus. Intoxication is when you consume alcohol or a drug which causes your nervous system to lose control, become impaired. In the Old Testament, the Holy Scripture of Islam, Judaism and Christianity, God of Mount Sinai, aka Allah, Jesus and Elohim called the Holy Bible excrement, feces, vomit polluting His two tablets carved in stone. He called the Bible writers ignorant drunks who forged the Bibles and signed them God. He accused the Bible writers of being ignorant drunks building for the people a shelter of lies and falsehoods which would cause all of the people to fall backwards and be broken and ensnared and taken. It is all laid out with citations on the Temple of Love website on New page 3. Jesus was even harsher in his denunciation of the Holy Bible.

This is why it was blasphemy punishable by death to allow lay people to read the Bible themselves. The Priests were certain that the moment this all became known people would walk right out of the Churches and never come back. This is where they were wrong. Who cares if the Holy Bible says 3 times that the Earth doesnt move and it never will? A mere technicality isnt going to end Christianity. The Christian people cannot wait for Jesus to come flying down from Heaven and command all of his angels to throw every last non Christian man, woman and child into the fire for being real live devils.

In the Jewish Old Testament, Psalm 2, the Messiah is to come and take a rod of iron and smash every last Goy, i.e. non Jew, into a million pieces like a potters vessel smashed with iron. When Christianity adopted the Old Testament into their King James Bible they changed the word Goy into the word Heathen, meaning non Christian. When the Muslims adopted the Old Testament for Islam, they changed the word Heathen into the word Infidel, meaning non Muslim. Words are a source of misunderstanding said the fox in The Little Prince. If snakes can talk to Eve then foxes can talk. It is so easy to see insanity in others and impossible to see it in ourselves.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Then, Hamas came to power in Palestine. Like Iran, and Al Qaeda, Hamas intends to make the Koran the law of Palestine. Blowing up your own body to murder Christians and Jews will become obligatory. Not to worry. Three years ago President Bush publicly announced that he was launching a Crusade in retaliation for 911. The Crusades were a thousand years ago. Youve seen one youve seen them all. During the Crusade the Pope marched his Christian army across Europe massacring every Jew in their path until they reclaimed the Holy Land, standing knee deep in Muslim blood in Jerusalem. The President of the United States of America with his finger on the button of 25,000 100 Megaton nuclear warheads that split into 8 in mid air each with a specific target, is on his way to Jerusalem to meet Jesus when his flying horse touches down on Mount Zion. It should be quite obvious at this point that the little tiny ball called Earth is a lunatic asylum for the criminally insane. Who would want to save it? Why would anyone want to save it? Lets just get it over with already. Nuclear bombs were Gods gift to us to end it all instantly, unlike when the Hutus murdered a million Tutsis with machetes. Tu Tu Tutsi Goodbye.

O.K. Lets get back to this years Hajj. 2.5 million people in Earth Mecca this year threw stones at three large stone pillars before dawn in a symbolic stoning of Satan, in order to purge themselves of sin. Years ago, on the day of atonement, the Jewish High Priest laid his hands on the head of a goat then sent it out into the desert carrying with it the sins of the people. Jesus sacrificed himself to wash all Christians of their sins two thousand years before they were born. People will believe and do anything to cleanse themselves of sin and get into Heaven instead of going to Hell after they die.

As the Hajj Devil stoning wound down this year, Reuters prematurely printed that everything had gone well at the Hajj this year. There were no catastrophic stampedes this year, as in years past, Reuters reported. Saudi woman Umm Saad said in the Reuters article carried in the world wide media, This is my first Hajj and I was scared of the crowds. Then I let faith take over my fear and everything was fine. It has been a good Hajj. Thirty minutes later Satan struck back. Someone in the crush of people tripped over a piece of luggage and the Muslim men and women fell down like dominoes on top of each other until 350 were dead. Saudi Arabias Grand Mufti ended the festivities by saying, Oh, Muslim nation, there is a war against our Religion, against our culture under the pretext of fighting terrorism. We should stand firm and united in protecting our religion. Islams enemies want to empty our religion from its contents and its meaning. But the Islamic soldiers of God will be victorious. The 2.5 million faithful replied, Amen.

Religion used to be the opium of the masses. It has since been replaced by the Sony Corporation. With all due respect to the Sheikh, and the Pope and the Rebbe, Sony has better speakers. At least their sound is true. We are all about to go up in smoke following what God of Mount Sinai refers to endlessly right in the Holy Bibles of Islam, Christianity and Judaism as deadly lies. The irony is that our map right out of this entire mess is right in these very Bibles. At The Temple of Love we dont stone statues or promise you virgins. We just show you the map. Its been right under your noses for 3,200 years. And it was our religious leaders and their followers who gave their blood to bring it to us all. Its time we followed it. Its now or never.

Author Bio:

Karen Fish

Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles California.

You can search for this article using: funny news, funny news stories, funny news articles, funny news headlines, current funny news
 
 
 

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