Its springtime in Idaho, the water is rushing down from melting snow scaring the hell out of folks as it rushes down the streets of some Idaho mountain towns.

One daffodil has poked its head in my front yard.

There is a dead starling in the front yard too.

Im afraid to touch it. I dont know if it died from the West Nile virus or the Chinkeroo bird flu.

My spell checker says there is no such word as Chinkeroo. There is now. I just love that add to dictionary feature.

Anyway, I just got back from Seattle and the great Northwest. When I got home, Xrytspet from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 asked me if I had a chance to chat with Bigfoot again. This is how that went:

Hack Writer: No! The whole time, except when they were sleeping, I was playing with the triplets and their big sister.

Xrytspet: I know where Bigfoot is.

Hack: I guess hes back from Florida. Did he have a good winter being the Swamp Ape?

Xrytspet: He stole away in one of those humongous Air Force cargo jets. It was headed for Fort Lewis so that the troops could complete their cargo-loading training.

Hack: I went to Air Transportability School at Fort Sill in 1950 or early 1951. We loaded the plane and took off for a ride over Texas. We passed because the cargo didnt shift and squash us all.

Xrytspet: Your lack of concentration is phenomenal. We were talking about Bigfoot.

Hack: Sorry!

Xrytspet: He was spotted by a member of BFRO at a yard sale in Fostoria, Oregon. He was perusing a copy of Ancient Mysteries by Peter James and Nick Thorpe. The BFRO member was Cindy Keep Seeking of Yakima. Shes a Native American.

Phontos, the last Chican, was disguised as one of the regular bums that attend yard sales but Cindy Keep Seeking caught a whiff of him and noticed his great size. Thats when Phontos dematerialized and levitated out of there. Nobody noticed but Cindy Keep Seeking. There was no other witness.

Now, not even the BFRO members believe her story. The secretary of the organization said, Bigfoot at a yard sale. Who are you kidding? Bigfoot lives in the forest.

Cindy Keep Seeking told the organization Go straddle a flying knife-edged dream catcher! and she quit. Her last comment was, You morons believe in every bump in the night but you cant believe a sighting by a Yakama Indian in broad daylight! (Read about the Yakama Indians at http://www.u-s-history.com/pages/h1588.html.)

Hack: Thats a big loss to BFRO. They should learn to be more tolerant of their members observations, especially if the member is a Native American that is expert in field observations. What in the heck is the BFRO, anyway?

Xrytspet: Youre sitting at your computer, idiot.

I searched for BFRO and came up with their site: http://www.bfro.net/.

Hack: I saw these guys on television. They claim to be The only scientific research organization exploring the Bigfoot/Sasquatch mystery.

Xrytspet: Well, they missed their chance. Phontos decided to get out of there and is spending the summer on Hudson Bay. Hes working as a short-order cook in the caf of the Lazy Bear Lodge in Churchill, Manitoba. He likes to watch the Beluga whales in his spare time. See http://www.lazybearlodge.com/.

Hack: There is something else that Phontos should be watching.

Xrytspet: What would that be?

Hack: His paduka! There are polar bears up there.

Xrytspet: Didnt I tell you that Paduka refers to the sandals of the preceptor?

Hack: Well, yes, I guess you did. Well, he better sit on his sandals while he is watching the Belugas less a polar bear creeps up behind him and bites him on his natiche.

The End

BFRO, Big Foot, Mapinguary, Sasquatch, Florida Skunk, Swamp, Ape, Yeti, Yowie, Jersey Devil, UFO, Xrytspet, Lazy Bear Lodge, Hudson Bay, Churchill, Manitoba