1) You had a slip, and then decided to slide. In other words, you messed up a little bit, (didnt go to the gym one day, had two desserts instead of one, etc.) and said the heck with it, Ive messed up, Ill never make it anyway, Im such a loser, so I might as well just enjoy myself! Sound like any one you know? 2) You set your goals for someone else or someone else set them for you. When you are doing it for someone else, your motivation and desire begins to fade rather quickly. 3) Youve been focused more on the goal than on the outcome. Huh, hows that again? Allow me to explain it this way: whenever a new client comes in and says something like I want to quit smoking, - lose weight, - get a better job, - stop arguing with my spouse, etc., Ill usually ask something like why would you want to do that? While most folks are a little surprised by the question, their answer usually reveals what they really want. Getting rid of weight or becoming smoke-free is the goal, the what. Doing it because you want to live a healthier, longer life, to be more active, or to live long enough to see your kids have kids is the outcome, what you want to get from the goal. Its the why. What I have found is that if you have a big and compelling enough why, the what and even the how are so much easier. If you are committed, if you have a big enough why, then no matter what, there is always a way to find the how. Have you ever had the frightening experience of being without air for a few seconds or more? Did you notice how quickly your focus narrowed and determination increased? Its that level of no matter what that we must have in order to create the kind of life we desire. So when you find yourself struggling with achieving the goals you have set, ask yourself these questions: why do I want to achieve the goal, whats my outcome? do I have a big enough why that can pull me through the rough spots? what and how many compelling reasons can I create that will pull me toward the goal? You may discover that you really dont have a big enough why, and just cant find any compelling enough reasons to drive you. Thats fine. Its better to drop this goal and find one thats big and compelling enough to make it worth pursuing. Heres a tip: find one that excites you so much that it gets you up early, keeps you up late, and makes each day well lived. Go about achieving your goals in this way, and youll not only get there, youll have a great time on the way. |