So you've been involved in the support of a family member who is being investigated by the Victorian Department of Human Services, otherwise referred to as DHS. You've made notifications, been part of the case planning meetings, safety plans and your input has been valued.

Suddenly, you find yourself in conflict with the family and lo and behold, DHS cut you out of the loop because you are now in conflict and that creates confidentiality dilemmas for DHS. What do you do?

Well most people, once they make a notification to DHS they sit back and pat themselves on the back for having taken a stand and done something. Good for you. Well done. But what if you are a family member who wants to remain involved and be part of the overall planning for the welfare of these children, where do you stand and what do you do?

Ah, now comes the difficult part.

You ring DHS and they say "sorry, can't talk to you or tell you anything because it's a breach of the parents confidentiality." Fine, you say. Can you tell me if there are any protective applications coming up? No answer. How surprising. Now what do you do? You are concerned, you want to remain involved, but how do you do this?

If you are a family member and DHS are making a Protection Application to the court, you have the legal right to apply to become what is termed "an interested party.

But hang on, how are you going to know about this protective order application if you can't communicate with DHS?

That's the crunch issue. They won't tell, you won't know. Here's how to hopefully circumvent all of this. It's not guaranteed but it will give you guidance:

1. Know where the children are living usually the family home location as this is usually where the application is lodged i.e. the court location.
2. Know which regional or metropolitan office is handling the case.
3. Find which courts are in the area. There is usually only one court in each rural region or else it could be the Children's Court in Melbourne.
4. There are no published lists for Children's Court matters so you will have to ring up regularly to see if there are any matters listed for the children involved. If you think it could be in a different region you will have to ring that court as well.
5. Try to stay in contact with family, friends or others who may be involved as they may have information on upcoming court dates. Even a hint, or a casual comment in passing may be all the information you need.

DHS do not always seek protective application orders, but if they do at least you are forewarned and forearmed.

If you do find the court date you will need to write to the relevant court and to the relevant DHS office to advise that you wish to be listed as "interested parties to the proceedings." It also pays to write to the childrens solicitors as they would appreciate knowing; this information can be gained from the court registrar.

Once you have the court date and location, and you have notified the court and DHS, you must go to every court session and when asked by the Magistrate what involvement you have or why you are there, you simply tell him/her that "you are the child/ren's Maternal or Paternal Aunt/Uncle/Grandparent etc and that you wish to be made a party to the proceedings." You shouldn't go into any detail, as the preceding statement will tell the Magistrate what he needs to know. The Magistrate may hold off on making a decision so you will need to go to every session and you may have to keep repeating yourself until your application is granted. Make sure you are standing up with the other legal reps if you are doing this without legal representation. You'll stand out like the proverbial, but the Magistrate will have to take notice of you. Once he's asked you, you can then sit down and wait and see what happens. If you dont get asked, address the Magistrate as Your Honour, and introduce yourself and follow the same procedure. If your application is granted you then have the right to sit with all the other legal representatives at the table.

Do you need legal representation? No. You only need to be there in person and state your request as noted above in an oral representation to the Magistrate.

Should you have legal representation? Yes and no. It's expensive, but it may be easier than trying to speak in court if you are not used to it. Get a cost from a solicitor first. The Law Institute of Victoria have 30-minute free referrals to legal firms in your area...use them! Legal Aid will also give you appointments and advice even if you dont qualify for representation.

What happens if you are made an "interested party?" Once that happens you have the legal right to all the court documents/reports prepared by DHS and any other reports released by the Magistrate, you are also legally entitled to discuss the case with DHS. This gives you an opportunity to either accept or oppose any application made.

Being made an interested party is only for the legal case. Once a protective application is granted your interested party status means nothing. DHS have six weeks within which to formulate a case plan and they can still exclude you from this process.

This can be a time consuming, costly exercise, and it may cost you personally as well as financially. You may be isolated from family if you have to go down this track to remain involved. It's not a pleasant experience if you end up having to go to these lengths to stay connected with children whose welfare you are concerned about.

However, take heart in that if you are successful you will have the knowledge that you have fought to remain involved and that child will know it.

Legal Aid is a good source of information and you can make an appointment at any office. You may not qualify for legal aid but you can still have an appointment and ask questions and they can assist in helping you prepare documents. There are other law sites online that can give you guidance on this issue. There is nothing on the DHS website about this process as it is not the norm.

Stay strong, determined and consistent for the sake of the children and your focus will be clear.

Child abuse should not be tolerated or condoned in any form, and isolating supportive family members from abused children because they have views not consistent with the parents, is just another way of keeping these children silent by families who want to keep it all 'in-house.'