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Climbing the Learning Curve

 
Author: Carolina Fernandez

Today's Quote: "If one is master of one thing and understands one thing well, one has at the same time insight into and understanding of many things." Vincent van Gogh

I don't know about you, but I tend to be a rather impatient person. I want things when I want them, how I want them. And I expect other people to do things I ask them to do for me when I ask them, how I ask them.

It took me awhile to realize that the world doesn't work that way! Kids get out-of-line. Projects get off-schedule. Noses get bent out-of-shape.

Early on in motherhood, I had an overwhelming desire to get things right...and quickly at that. To figure babyhood out...quickly. Get through the mysteries of toddlerhood.very quickly! Get through each new stage with an easy grasp. I wanted to figure things out quickly and brilliantly and achieve nearly "instant mastery," even though I hadn't yet put in my time. I never had any idea of the overwhelming nature of motherhood, nor did I allow myself the luxury of adopting the appropriate insight into just how complex it all was. I never counted on climbing a learning curve that went up like a rocket...that is, nearly straight up for nearly two decades before it leveled out a little!

Everyone remains dazzled by the "overnight success" story, the boy-wonder, or the golden child who apparently never stumbled along the way. Consider 21 year-old Andy Roddick, America's darling and top-seeded tennis player going into the 2004 Australian Open. His rise to the top appears to be "overnight." Contrast him to 22 year-old Taylor Dent, whose progress on the pro tour has been methodical rather than meteoric. He finished 2003 ranked No. 32 after capturing three titles. Even for a player pegged for greatness since his teens-his father, Phil, an Australian, was a finalist there in 1974, and his mother, Betty Ann (Grubb) Stuart, was a top-10 player in the USA-it hasn't always come easy. Said Dent: "I'd be full of it if I said that I wish I hadn't had the early success that Andy did. That's what I want more than anything. But I'm happy for Andy. For me, I really needed this learning curve to understand my game." (1) (NOTE: Robson, Douglas. Serve-and-volleyer Dent fitter, playing smarter. USA Today, 2004 January 21; p. 2, http://www.usatoday.com.)

Exactly. And what happened is that his net-game improved. Serve-and-volleyers-Dent's claim to fame-typically mature later. But this Newport Beach, California resident elevated his game by raising his fitness level during the last year-including cutting back on junk food-and focusing on what he does best: attack. (2) (NOTE: Ibid.)

U.S. Davis Cup captain Patrick McEnroe said of Dent: "He's playing smarter...which makes his attacking game more effective...He's playing more judiciously." (3) (NOTE: Ibid.)

And veteran Todd Martin said: "Dent finally seems to understand how his 6' 2" frame and athleticism are suited to dominate the net. I think with a lot of young players that's the most important thing to realize, is how you're supposed to play, how do your talents and skills best fit into the game. Taylor's figured that out." (4) (NOTE: Ibid., p. 2,3.)

Excusing my analogy to tennis--the only competitive sport I've ever played--the lesson, though seemingly simplistic, is critical in our journey of motherhood. As Todd Martin asked: "How do your talents and skills best fit into the game?" As you approach motherhood's creative challenges on a day-to-day basis, how are you attacking the "game?" Are you using your God-given talents and skills to best suit the way you spend your day? And are you exploring your children's talents and skills so that they flourish in a lifetime of creative abundance? Or are you trying to imitate someone else's vision for your own life...or for the lives of your children?

Recognize that life is filled with setbacks, struggles, and strife...and that God's timing doesn't necessarily coincide with our own. But recognize, too, that our learning curve is steep. That there are no overnight successes in motherhood. That getting a handle on the scope of the job takes more energy, more understanding, more strength, more passion...and requires more sleep!....that we ever dreamed possible.

And when your kids seem to flounder on their own learning curves, be patient. As the kid in front of me at the line in McDonald's (where I dashed in for a cup of coffee yesterday) fumbled through his order, first ordering chicken nuggets, then changing it to a cheeseburger, forgetting his fries and Coke until after the change was given only to re-order for the third time, I laughed out loud, and thought to myself: "This kid's got a long, steep learning curve to climb."

Author Bio:

Carolina Fernandez

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. before working at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch. She left the corporate world to work as a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker.

Coming home to longer hours, harder work, and more demanding relationships left her feeling totally overwhelmed. Granted, she traded one investment field for another which has yielded immeasurable returns heretofore unimagined. Nonetheless, her frustration at her lack of ability in tackling all of motherhood?s inherently difficult challenges pushed her into a nearly twenty year labor of love. Her research in child development, child psychology, social psychology, nutrition, and exercise physiology, along with indispensable insights and experiences gained along the way, finally evolved into ROCKET MOM!

She re-invented herself in the process. She has dabbled in the domestic, performing, and visual arts, undertaking projects ranging from painting in oils to hooking rugs to singing onstage in Carnegie Hall. She has developed strong convictions about the role of the arts in child development; these convictions have shaped the specific strategies played out in the book.

She has a passion for inspiring creativity in people of all ages, from pre-schoolers to rocket grandmoms! Indeed, she receives particular joy in helping moms on the front line as they engage in what is arguably the most creative challenge ever invented: motherhood. To this end, she writes and speaks extensively, and is constantly developing teaching materials in her effort to share the crucial intervention of creative nurturing in developing children. She shares her message via radio and TV interviews; print media; and in speaking platforms via seminars and workshops, lectures and keynotes for pre-schools, women?s groups, retreats, civic organizations and adult education classes. Her soon-to-be-launched cable TV program, ROCKET MOM! will reach thousands of households in the Fairfield County area of Connecticut.

Her newly-formed Rocket Mom Society attempts to meet her mission head-on as she ?encourages, equips and empowers moms for excellence.?

She lives with her husband and their four children in Ridgefield, Connecticut.

You can search for this article using: single parenting, parenting advice, parenting information, teen parenting, parenting tips
 
 
 

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