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Site Home » Fashion & Relationships » Gender & Sexuality
 

Dialogue on Sex

 
Author: Andy Carloff

A heterosexual man and another heterosexual man. One of them starts reading a book to the other one.

Man one: "What the hell are you doing?"

Man two: "I'm reading a book to you."

Man one: "That's retarded.... I don't want to be read to at all."

Man two: "Well, I mean, I was picking up your signals."

Man one: "What signals? What the fuck are you talking about?"

Man two: "Don't you dare pull that crap with me. You were sending me heavy signals and I was sending them back."

Man one: "You can go to hell is what. If I fucking want to do something, ask me and I'll let you know."

Man two: "But, but, it's reading a book to you -- ... doesn't it seem.... dorky to ask?"

Man one: "Really, were you dropped on your head as a child?"

Man two: "Come on.... If I ACTUALLY asked you if you wanted to be read to, you'd say I was a nerd and without any understanding of social relationships."

Man one: "The fact that you can't SIMPLY ask me if I want to do something shows that you are very much OUT OF TUNE with human relationships. God... Were you raised under a bridge or something?"

Man two: "But asking will totally ruin the mood of me reading to you."

Man one: "What the hell do you mean? Jeeze, maybe I REALLY AM in the mood for a good read, maybe not. Too fucking bad you didn't have the nerve to ask!"

Man two: "Come on, you know it would have."

Man one: "Ummmm, no."

Man two: "So, you don't want me to read a book to you?"

Man one: "Are you fucking stupid? Not only do I find you to be mentally inapt, but right now you are creeping the fuck out of me. Jesus."

Man two: "Can.... can you tell me no in signals, then?"

Man one: "Okay, listen... You aren't understanding. There are no signals. Or, if they exist, they're just a socially pathetic way of communicating a message. You want to do something. You have a mouth. Fucking use it."

Man two: "No, no, I mean, I respect your decision not to be read a book."

Man one: "Well, ummmm... thank you?"

Man two: "It's just that, well, I really really really want to do it, and sometimes I get carried away. I'm not sure how it's done sometimes, you people are so confusing."

Man one: [silence]

Man two: "You probably think I'm an idiot."

Man one: "Yes. Yes, I do."

Man two: "... I was just doing things in a way that our culture has justified them."

Man one: "That is why you're failing at them."

Man two: "Hey, you know... I do respect you as a person. Don't get me wrong."

Man one: "I don't think I am...?"

Man two: "I understand that there are definitely other facets to your life. When I look at you, I see that you have an emotional, an intellectual, and a social life, that you are more than just some person I can read a book to."

Man one: "Well, I appreciate.... I mean, what the hell am I saying? You can go to hell."

Man two: "Wait, just hear me out... I'm not expecting you to change your mind about me reading the book to you. I'm just trying to say that I respect you as a person who does other things besides having books read to them. You have your own mind and body, too. You're not just someone to stimulate by reading a book to, as much as I would love to do it. I mean, you can understand that. I see you, and the thing I want to do most is just, oh my god, just read a book to you."

Man one: "..... why?"

Man two: "Ugh! You wouldn't understand. You're not someone who reads books to others. It's just an intense, unending desire. Like I said, I'm not disrespecting you or trying to, and I respect that you have other characteristics than that one side. It's just, holy hell, what I want to do more than anything else with you, I'm sorry.

Man one: "Uuummm, don't be sorry, but, also don't be creepy."

Man two: "Man, now I just feel embarassed about the whole thing. I mean, I actually tried to read a book to you when you weren't into it... Man, maybe I should relearn what the signals are for this game and everything. God, I hate playing the field."

Man one: "You tried to read me a book... and you didn't even ask if I wanted to read it, though that would be just about customary in everything else. That right there alone is awkward."

Man two: "Well at least you're talking to me about it... I would imagine most men would refuse to even have a conversation with me and just generally regard me as a degenerate."

Man one: "It's only being read a book to. I can handle that. Just ask next time, and act like, humane and rational about it, ignoring whatever society or culture says about it."

Man two: "But you said no to me. Now I feel rejection about this... promise me you won't tell my friends about this."

Man one: "I imagine you'd be the sort of person who doesn't have any friends."

Man two: "Just promise!"

Man one: "Okay, I promise."

Man two: "Ah, I suppose this is pretty awkward now."

Man one: "... yeah, when someone sits down and tries to read a book to you, for no apparent reason... with perhaps a seemingly fetish desire about it. Yeah, that is awkward, for me."

Man two: "But for me, it is so incredibly awkward. I feel that we can't go back to our prior relationship after what happened, unless we can completely and irrevokably forget what has just happened right here and right now... But I tried to read you a book and you rejected me! There is no way that can be forgotten!"

Man one: "I'm sure... that we can just, pretend it never happened? Hell, it's a normal thing. Reading a book. Really, come on, get over it."

Man two: "Okay, okay, okay, I think I can act towards you like a normal, sincere person..."

Man one: "Eeehhh, well, maybe if you can forget everything you've learned this far."

.......... in destroying, we are building.

www.punkerslut.com

For Life,
Punkerslut

Author Bio:

Andy Carloff

Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry on social issues which have caught his attention for several years. His website provides a complete list of all of these writings. His life experience includes homelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, getting expelled from college for "subversive activities," and a myriad of other revolutionary actions.

You can search for this article using: human sexuality, female sexuality, sexuality education, adult sexuality, sexuality test
 
 
 

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